When I read this blog, all I could think about was high school, and all the inner rings within it. I completely agree with Lewis is saying that the ring only looks like it will make you happy from the outside, but once within the circle one realizes it will not bring them happiness.
As I said, this reminds me of being in high school ,and the same thing is being repeated with my sister who is currently a freshman. She plays sports and recently decided she no longer wanted to play basketball. Less than a week later her group of friends decided that she was no longer allowed to be within their "inner ring."
This is a harsh reality, but it all honesty this is how it usually goes in all senses. Most people want to keep their inner ring stable. That means not letting anyone new in, and cutting off those who decide to leave.
It is the same when a new kid moves to school, it is hard for them to make friends or become a part of a social circle, because it will change an already established dynamic. The thing I find the most strange is that even though, in my experience trying to become part of an inner ring or sometimes even being part of an inner ring bring us pain or is a burden. We would find ourselves totally lost without them.
"Men tell not only their wives but themselves that it is a hardship to stay late at the office or the school on some bit of important extra work which they have been let in for because they and so-and-so and the two others are the only people left in the place who really know how things are run. But it is not quite true. . . A terrible bore ah, but how much more terrible if you were left out! It is tiring and unhealthy to lose your Saturday afternoons: but to have them free because you don't matter, that is much worse."
Great closing quote! As much as I hate to admit it, it is very true. The only thing worse than having too much to do is having nothing to do because you are not needed or wanted. We thrive on the power and status that can come from being part of an exclusive group. You made a great point about high school and the new kid's struggle to fit in. No one wants to lose their status so it can seem easier to keep things the way they are. But I think if we are aware of these things, we can overcome these things.
ReplyDelete"...but to have them free because you don't matter, that is much worse." This reminds me of some of the things Lewis talks about in The Four Loves. He talks about how all loves are Gift-loves or Need-loves (sometimes both), and how sometimes people cling to Need-loves: they need to be needed.
ReplyDeleteThis same kind of thing can happen with inner rings: we want to matter to people.
I too was reminded of high school when reading this essay. Especially when we're that young it's so easy to get caught up in the whole "clique" thing. Sometimes we don't even notice the clique because we're so engrossed inside it. The scary thing is, I don't think the cliques ever go away.. at work and even at church, people separate themselves from others. Why do we do this to ourselves (and others)?
ReplyDeleteI hadn't really thought about the importance of inner rings when reading Lewis, but this essay helped point out to me that there is something special about being in that inner ring. These rings just need to exist in a way that doesn't harm as is usually the case.
ReplyDeleteI like how you point out the need to keep our rings stable. In some ways, it's another way for us to control our "small kingdoms" instead of allowing God to control our lives, and encourage us to love and include all people in our groups.
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